All over social media, all you see is #relationshipgoals #couplegoals and it’s so damn irritating!
It’s irritating because these so-called relationship goals are found on frivolous pictures that show couples with, fit bodies, matching outfits, matching expensive cars, or going on elaborate trips.
Now, don’t get me wrong, those things are nice but being in a relationship is so much more than the materialistic things that society presents.
Social media makes relationships seem so easy like all you have to do is take a vacation, show up dressed immaculately, take a few photos, and everyone will gush over how great your love is and how you guys are such relationship goals.
If you want the relationship goals that social media presents then fine, be my guest to each its own.
But if you want real relationship goals that will help you to stay in a committed relationship, then keep reading.
In this post, I will provide 20 real relationship goals that you need and why relationship goals are so important.
Why Are Relationship Goals Important?
Relationship goals are so important because they allow you to have a shared foundation as well as a shared direction for where you want to go as a couple.
When you set shared goals for your relationship, you establish a basis.
You now know what matters most to one another and what you want your future together to look like, be like, and feel like.
When you have the same goals, you know what this person expects of you and wants from you.
There’s no second-guessing.
Setting goals for a relationship helps because it helps to make you guys work together as a team.
Relationships take so much freaking work and social media does not portray that at all.
They make it seem like you wake up happy every single day of your life, and that is not the case at all.
Setting relationship goals help to not only establish foundations but help you guys communicate better and support one another on things that matter most.
They help you to not look at the result of, ”I want to be happy why am I not happy”, but instead to the progress you made in your relationship like, “We have been having a great time these past few weeks let’s keep it.”
Face it, relationships take a lot of trust, responsibility, long-term effort, dedication, and the ability to apologize, to keep them healthy.
In today’s world, you don’t see any of that.
If you want the real deal on relationship goals, then keep reading because I am going to drop 17 of them right now.
17 of the Best Real Relationship Goals
One Team, One Entity
Being one in a relationship means EVERYTHING!
When you and your partner are not one, that means you’re against one another.
So instead of putting your partner first and considering their feelings, you always think about yourself.
When you argue, you only see it from your point of view.
If your partner makes you mad, you do something that will hurt him.
You become petty and do anything in your power to make your partner feel terrible like how you felt.
But when you are a team, none of that even matters.
You work together to solve your issues.
You realize that if one person is expressing their feelings, you listen and take it in.
You don’t respond right away with an answer.
You realize that if your partner makes you mad you don’t make them mad in return.
When you are a team you realize everything you do is for each other.
You build one another up and do not tear one another down.
In Sickness And In Health
With many different diseases and health issues in the world, it’s important to have a relationship that stands the test of time.
Whether it’s an illness that is as simple as a cold, (even if your spouse acts like he’s dying) or an illness that can change your life drastically, like cancer.
Make sure that your goal to be there for one another is the same as in sickness and in health.
The number 1 cause of divorce is money problems. (Source)
This means you guys better have a plan in place when it comes to money.
You need to have savings.
You have to build a reserve for unexpected events for those rainy days.
If you have any money secrets like bad credit, a lot of debt, etc, you have to tell your spouse about it.
You have to be honest and vulnerable with your spouse.
And most importantly, you have to acknowledge your different money values.
If you’re a saver and your spouse is a spender then you may bump heads on limits of spending.
But if you’re both frugal then that means your relationship may be boring because neither one of you may surprise the other.
So whatever your money values are make sure your relationship goals are mapped out so that you are on the same page and can stand the pitfalls that come in a relationship.
You ever tell a lie to someone and then you tell another lie. Only to have to remember those lies because they keep coming up again?
So, what’s the point of lying when you know:
1. You can’t keep up
2. You’re going to be found out anyway.
Being honest with your partner allows you and your partner to establish trust in one another.
When you have trust, you know your partner is someone you can talk to and express your darkest secrets to.
You know they will not judge you and never tell a soul.
Being honest with your partner allows you to build the biggest part of your foundation in a relationship.
Have you ever heard communication is key?
Well, I am sure you’ve have, but let me tell you why communication needs to be a relationship goal.
When you have good communication, this means that you are connecting with your partner verbally, physically, and written. (Source)
Communication doesn’t mean just talking.
It’s about listening and understanding your partner’s point of view.
You support your partner and let them know that you are always there.
You make sure your partner feels secure in your relationship.
Communication, if it is done right, can show your partner how you can grow together.
It can show that they are unique, important, connected, loved and that you are giving.
If you want your relationship to last and grow quickly take the saying that communication is key, to heart.
When you first get into a relationship, you have these high expectations, right?
You believe you’re going to get married, have 3 kids, 2 boys and 1 girl, live in this nice house with a white picket fence, and always love each other unconditionally.
Yes, that sounds amazing, but that’s not how it works.
Relationships take work and a lot of compromises.
You have to go in with realistic expectations.
Know that y’all are going to have some hurdles to get over, some different beliefs, and different goals.
Most of all, you have to be willing to compromise and not be stubborn.
Which leads me to my next point.
Since you are two different people, who grew up differently, and who have different beliefs and expectations, you are going to have to be understanding.
As soon as he says, “Why are you putting the Mac and cheese in the oven”, don’t fire back with a, “because my momma did it that way”.
Instead, be understanding.
Let him know that you grew up eating it that way and for him to give it a try.
Once it is all done and he tastes it, he’ll probably like it too.
But remember, if he doesn’t, that’s ok because you can have the whole pan to yourself!
Some things are not important to you but will be uber important to him.
For example, my husband is big on touch.
I grew up in a house where hugs, kisses, and touch were just not a thing.
But because I know touch makes him feel loved and secure, I go out of my way to do that for him.
I have accepted his needs.
Because I love him and I want to show him I care, I do what makes him happy even if it’s a bit uncomfortable for me.
You know those fights you see on reality tv between couples?
Yeah, don’t do that!
Well, if you are getting paid a pretty penny to do that, then yeah, you may have to reconsider.)
Anyways, everyone has arguments. It’s a fact of life. No two people are going to get along all the time.
But just because everyone argues, doesn’t mean you can say whatever you want.
You cannot hit below the belt with lines that you know will hurt their ego, confidence, pride, or simply to make them mad.
In relationships, you have to fight fair.
If you disagree make sure you are listening to what he is saying, and make sure that you are owning where you were wrong.
Yes, it is most certainly important to be happy with one another, but I’ll argue that it is equally important to be happy without one another as well.
If you are relying on someone to make you happy in life, then, you are going to be disappointed.
No human being is perfect.
No one is going to make you happy all the time.
When it comes down to it, he is going to fail.
He is going to piss you off to the highest point of pisstivity sometimes.
But all that won’t matter if you know how to be happy on your own too.
See, if you’re able to be happy on your own, then you can go do something to lift your spirits during these tough times.
If you can’t be happy on your own, then you’re going to nitpick at everything that’s wrong with him.
It’s going to take you longer to get past the fights and let downs because he’s your only source of happiness.
This is a sure way to ruin a relationship.
Relationship is Priority
When you are in a relationship, there are many things that you are going to have to shift around.
No longer is your life about just you.
You have to make your relationship a priority if you want it to work.
You have to rearrange some things to make sure you are meeting your significant other needs.
You have to spend time with one another so that you know that you are each other’s best friend.
Another thing that you have to do when in a relationship is to create intimacy.
You want to get to know your partner as much as possible.
You want to know their favorite colors, but also what makes them tick.
What are their biggest regrets?
What makes them truly happy?
You want to get to know them as much as possible so that you can feel connected with him.
You want to be both emotionally and physically open enough so that you have a deep trust and you can be honest with one another.
You want to be able to count on one another when life gets rough.
One thing you have to know is that your spouse will not be the same as the day you met him.
He is going to continually grow and change throughout your relationship.
The trick of keeping your relationship solid during the growth is to grow together.
If your partner grows, and you remain the same, he may begin to resent that you are stagnant.
And if he grows and you don’t you may feel like he changed into a different person overnight.
To make sure this does not happen, include one another in your goals.
Make sure to plan goals together for your relationship.
Time For Fun
Yes, relationships are stressful and full of ups and downs but to make sure your relationship lasts, you have to remember to have fun.
Schedule times that you guys can go on a date.
Don’t take each other too seriously.
Being serious all the time is not fun, and will get old quick!
A relationship is nothing without trust.
You have to be able to trust the person you are with.
Not just shallow trust either but knowing that he or she would never do you wrong especially if you are married.
If you are married, just know that if something bad happens, and you are on life support, he is going to instruct the doctors on what they should do for you.
So, you need to be able to talk to this person about anything and everything.
You need to know they will always have your back.
You need to be able to trust this person with your life…literally.
If you have not read the book, The 5 Love Languages, then please go do it now.
You should know which love language speaks to you and that of your spouse.
If you need touch to feel loved, and your spouse keeps giving you gifts, then, you won’t understand or feel how much he loves you and vice versa.
When you know each other’s love language, it will make life so much easier.
You will feel so appreciated because your spouse knows exactly what to do to make you happy.
Life is hard.
During it, you’re going to go through the lowest of lows and the highest of highs.
Because of this, your relationship needs to be a safe space.
You need to know that whatever you share will be kept and not shared with anyone else.
You need to know that when you are at rock bottom, he will be there to pick you up and give you a shoulder to lean on.
You need to know that when you are at your highest peak, he will be your biggest fan as well as someone to keep you humble.
Your relationship should be a safe, nurturing, place at all times.
The Last Thing You Need To Know About Relationship Goals
As you can see relationship goals are not about matching shoes, matching cars, flying on a jet, or having a mansion.
It is so much more than that.
Relationship goals should be based on things that matter in life, like trust, honesty, and companionship.
After reading this list of relationship goals, which one do you agree with most?
Let me know in the comments.
Remember Love Always and Spread Bliss,