Did you know that 95% of the time when you tell people your goals you do not achieve them?
Crazy right?!
Here you thought telling people your goals made you more accountable.
When in honesty, it makes you less likely to follow through and actually achieve your goals.
Have you ever heard the quote, “If you want to kill a big dream tell it to a small-minded person”?
Well in this case, if you want to kill any dream tell it to anyone.
To help you understand why that is, in this article, I will discuss:
- A research study that shows why you should never tell your goals
- The real reasons why people tell their goals
- What happens to your brain when you tell people your goals
- 4 types of people there are when it comes to achieving goals so you can figure out which one you are or…which one you want to be.
Why You Should Never Tell Your Goals Research Study
There was a research study done by Peter Gollwitzer.
Peter Gollwitzer had students interested in becoming Psychologists list two activities that they would perform in the next week to help them achieve their goal.
Half of the people handed what they wrote to the experimenter.
The experimenter read it out loud and acknowledged what they had written.
The other half were told that the whole exercise, of writing down their intentions, was given to them in error, and that no one would look at it.
Although the experimenter did privately.
The following week, all of the participants were contacted again and were asked to remember the goals they had written down the previous week.
Then they had to write down how much time they had spent on the activities that brought them closer to reaching their goals.
The results were that the people whose goals were read by the experimenter spent less time pursuing those activities than the people whose goals were not read.
This shows that you should never tell anyone your goals if you want to achieve them.
If this is hard for you to believe, like it was for me, many follow-up studies ruled out other explanations.
[embedyt] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t0wi_SXyKiA[/embedyt]
Why You Tell People Your Goals
Since keeping your goals to yourself is best if you want to achieve them, you may be wondering why people tell their goals in the first place.
Well, there are 4 different reasons why.
They are:
- Bragging
- Seal of approval
- Encouragement / motivation
- Accountability
Bragging
When you tell someone your goals over and over and over again, you are bragging.
Even though you don’t have the results that come from those goals, you are still telling everyone and anyone who will listen, what you have planned for your life because it makes you feel good.
You love to receive praise from your family and friends.
You pretty much love the attention that bragging gives you.
Seal of Approval
Or maybe you aren’t certain about your goals.
You may think they are too much or you aren’t sure if your friends and family won’t approve.
So you tell people your goals hoping they give you their seal of approval.
You are hoping they will say, ”Wow that’s great”, instead of, “Maybe you should rethink this.”
You hope they are amazed by what you want to do with your life instead of getting their disapproval.
Encouragement/Motivation
When you tell people your goals, you may be looking for encouragement or motivation because you are lacking it yourself.
You think once you hear your loved ones praise about how good of a job you are doing and how awesome it is that you are going for your dreams, it’ll stir something inside of you and make you want it more.
It’ll make you push harder to get your dream and make it a success.
Accountability
Now this one is the category I fall into.
When you tell people your goals, you feel like it makes you accountable.
Since you announced them, this means you have to follow through.
Or you risk being considered a fraud, phony, and all talk.
Or you think because you told someone, they will help make sure you stay on the right path until you reach your goal.
At least that is what I thought!
But, I was wrong!
Most people won’t care enough to keep you accountable.
They will pat you on the back and tell you you’re great, but they won’t make sure you’re doing what you need to do to achieve your goal.
They are too busy dealing with their own lives to wake you up at 5 am to make sure working out or working on your project.
Why You Should Never Tell People Your Goals
So now that you know why people tell others about their goals, let’s get to the real reason you’re here and that’s why you should never tell people your goals.
Well, simply put, when you tell people about your goals, you create a premature sense of completion.
It creates vivid mental pictures of a bright, shiny, future in your head.
Let me break this down even further so you can understand.
Let me do this by giving you an example.
Okay, picture a lemon.
Imagine that you’re cutting it.
Now think about putting the lemon to your lips.
Think about the taste of the lemon and how sour it is.
Is your mouth puckering and salivating yet?
I bet it is!
Do you get how your mind doesn’t know that you don’t have a lemon?
This is the same thing that happens when you tell people about your goals.
When you tell people your goals, you widen your intention behavior gap.
Your intention behavior gap is the disconnect between knowing what you should do and doing it.
It alters your social reality.
Telling your goal makes you feel good because it’s like you already achieved part of your goal.
It gives you a fake feeling of achievement.
When your friends and family congratulate you on it, your brain mistakes it for you doing it.
This makes you less interested in actually accomplishing that goal.
4 Types of Goal Setters
Okay, so when it comes to goal setting, there are typically 4 types of people who set goals.
I am going to explain them, but I want you to be honest and see which one you are.
Don’t Take Action But Tell Everyone
So this is the one that most people fall into.
I like to call this the New Year Resolution.
If you are this person, this means you set goals, tell everyone, but you don’t do them.
For example, everyone and their mama sets a goal for New Year!
It’s usually to save money, get a new job, lose weight, eat healthier, something along those lines.
But, after setting them, and telling everyone about their “new” goals, they never actually take action.
They are all talk!
Don’t Take Action And Tell No One
Or maybe you are this type of person.
You have goals.
You want to achieve them.
You dream about them, but life continuously gets in the way.
You don’t have time because your job is demanding, or the kids need you every second of the day.
You are in school and working full time.
Whatever your excuse is, you don’t take action at all so you never see your goals come to fruition.
Take Action And Tell Everyone
Or maybe you aren’t full of talk.
Maybe you do make goals and you do take action.
But, the thing is you tell everyone that has an ear about what you did and how you did it.
You’re full of yourself and love to brag.
Take Action And Tell No One
Or maybe you accomplish a lot!
You let your results speak for themselves.
You set your goals and achieve your goals.
Plus, you tell no one.
You are a super high achiever and let your results do the talking for you.
Now that you know the four types of goal setters, let me know in the comments which type are you?
Which type do you think is best?
Related Content:
3 Important Questions You Should Ask Yourself Before You Set Any Goals
The Best Smart Goal Template To Help You Achieve Your Goals In Record Time
The Last Thing You Need To Know About Never Tell Your Goals
At the end of the day, people don’t care about what you say you are going to do.
They only care about what they see done.
If you never tell your goals and let your results speak for you, people will believe you and want to learn from you.
They will see that you aren’t all talk, but that you make shit happen.
Plus, when you tell people your goals, your mind mistakes it for you as actually doing them.
This gives you less traction and motivation, so you won’t achieve them.
Having dreams and goals are not special.
Everyone has them.
The only thing that makes dreams and goals special is accomplishing them.
Only 8% of people achieve their goals! (Youtube video link)
Delay gratification by not telling your goals to anyone.
Write them down and create an action plan so that you can show your results.
You are more likely to achieve them this way.
If you need help with planning your goals and creating an action plan, get my free goal planning workbook below.
Remember Love Always and Spread Bliss,
Ree
