When it comes to happiness, most people believe that happiness comes with the attainment of something materialistic.
They look to things like having a better car, more money, a bigger house, a better job, etc. to make them completely happy, which in turn, means that they will continue to search for happiness.
I am not saying that those things cannot make you happier because honestly, they can. I, myself, would like those things for myself as well. But at the end of the day, my happiness is not set upon whether I get those things or not.
Looking to materialistic things for happiness means that happiness will occur but it will never last.
Once you get that newer car or house, new purse or shoes, yes, you will be happy, maybe even ecstatic. But, once you become accustomed to your new “thing” your happiness will flee just as fast as it came.
Therefore, you will be looking for the next bigger and better object to give you happiness once again.
The 10 tips that I will share, will make sure that these fleeting moments of happiness will no longer occur.
These 10 tips will show you how to be happy all of the time.
These 10 tips will make sure that happiness is intrinsic for you and that you are happy where you are and with what you have right now in life.
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How is that possible you might say?
Well, I am here to tell you how and honestly it is not as hard as you think.
To sum it all up, the saying, “Happiness is right in front of your face”, is the ultimate truth!
You just have to change your perception and open your mind to the possibilities, the things, and people who surround you this very moment.
Yes, you may have to make a few changes in life but I know with these 10 steps I list below if taken seriously and applied vehemently, you will find your life looking totally different. This will be because you will have found the ultimate peace, everlasting happiness.
What Is Happiness? The Definition of Happiness
According to Psychology Today, happiness is defined as “More than simply positive mood, happiness is a state of well-being that encompasses living a good life—that is, with a sense of meaning and deep satisfaction.” (Source)
Happiness not only makes you feel great, but it can also improve your physical health. The feelings that happiness brings on can help:
- Improve your cardiovascular health
- Boost your immune system
- Alleviate inflammation in the body
- Decrease blood pressure
- Increase your lifespan.
With all of these positive effects that happiness has, no wonder why people, from every corner of the world, rate finding happiness in their lives as one of the most important desirable outcomes in their lives.
So how can you become happy?
It’s simple in theory but pretty hard in application. Becoming happy involves a lot of discomforts and a lot of change.
Happiness is not about bouncing from one joy to the next. It is more of an everlasting feeling even when things may not be going right.
One great thing is that a lot of the parts that are needed to find happiness are under our personal control. One of those things is positive thinking.
Happiness starts and ends with the mind. If you start to pay attention to your thoughts and what you are saying to yourself, you may see that a lot of the things you are telling yourself are pretty negative. Since you spend the most time with yourself, this affects you subconsciously.
The best way to combat this is to start paying attention to your thoughts. When you notice a negative thought is popping up smack it with a positive one instead. Most importantly, focus on that positive thought until the negative one dissipates.
For example, if you are having a bad morning and you are now late for work. Combat those thoughts of, “Now my whole day is going to suck”, with positive thoughts like well I can listen to my favorite podcast longer or I can mentally organize my day on the way to the office so I won’t waste time when I get there. Notice how positive thoughts combat the negative thought?
Being late to work does not mean the rest of your day will be terrible. Having the mindset that your day will be terrible will cause a bad day. Because now your mind is only going to notice the negative aspects of your day, instead of all the positive that surrounds you.
A lot of reasons why we aren’t happy is because we see everything, want everything, and compare our lives to others! We see these rich people with nice cars, big houses, going on vacations, having a beautiful spouse. Or even our neighbors or co-workers going on vacation while we are staying home.
Seeing images like this in our lives daily causes tension and jealousy within us. Instead of focusing on what we have now, we tend to look at stuff that we don’t have and lust over it.
We need to have gratitude.
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We need to be thankful for what we do have right now at this moment because at one time it was something that we wanted.
We tend to get things and once we get it we are thankful for that moment only but a few days later we want something else because someone else has it.
We should learn to focus on what we have right here and now and continue to be thankful for it. Plus, there are other people in the world who would love to have what we have.
Sometimes it is hard to remember how fortunate we are.
That’s where volunteering comes in. Volunteering and helping others at local shelters, food kitchens, free clinics, will remind you of how blessed you are. It will show you how grateful you should be for what you have in life.
You will also be helping others who are less fortunate than you. Now, that’s a win-win!
When you have had things happen to you in the past, it is hard to let them go. You want to retaliate, make them feel the pain they put on you. You want to hurt them. It hurts, even more, to know that the person who hurt you doesn’t care one bit about what he or she did to you. The pain they caused you is eating you up.
There are three things you can do in situations like these. You can:
- Talk to the person and see if he or she will apologize. Most likely, they will not apologize and may try to put the blame on you.
- You can retaliate. You can try to make them feel the pain that they caused you. Most likely doing that won’t feel satisfying enough and it could get you in huge trouble.
- You can forgive them.
When I say forgive them, you can let it go for yourself, so that you don’t carry the pain anymore. You do not need to voice the forgiveness to them but just to yourself.
You can let go of all the negative energy, the hurt, the anger so that you can fill that void with positive energy. If you hold on the negative things from your past forever, it will continue to eat at you every single day until you are miserable.
If you are spiritual, you can pray, meditate, and go into the depths of what happened. You can allow yourself to cry, feel the pain, and then begin the healing process.
You can change those negative feelings into positive ones by focusing on things such as how far you have come since that time. Focus on the changes you see mentally, physically, emotionally, financially, and spiritually within you.
Focus on the you now, not the past you, and forgive that person so that they no longer have power over you.
Positive Energy Only
Take a look at your surroundings, your friendships, your relationships, your family, your thoughts, and your career.
What do you see?
What do you feel?
What do you hear?
Take inventory for a while and pay attention. Incorporate all of your senses into your surroundings and take mental notes as well as physical notes about how they make you feel, what you hear, and what do you see.
From these notes, figure out if there are aspects of your life that are consistently causing you pain, sadness, and misery. Once you figure that out, next it is time to release them.
For example, if it is a person, you may need to set certain boundaries with them or not have that person in your life at all.
If it is your job, you may need to see if there is a way you can gain skills to transition to a new position within your company, go back to school for your passion, or start your passionate job on the side until you make a fulltime income.
You have to protect yourself and put yourself first because you only have one life to live and you can only live your life. At the end of the day, you are the only one who can help yourself to be happy!
Live in the Moment
With the rise of social media, we do not live in the moment. We tend to focus on the future or the wow factor that this will look so good on Instagram or Facebook instead of living in the moment and creating memories.
Or, we are continually smothered by our past so much that we let whatever happened to us, manipulate us into a person we no longer recognize.
We should practice more of is living in the moment, letting our minds be still and enjoying the beauty that surrounds us.
Instead, if we would open all of our senses to the moment we are in right now we would feel peace, stress relief, and less societal pressures.
With still minds, come less suffering because our minds are not creating negative stories or thoughts. We are living in the moment and not worried about the past, future, or our current stressors.
Let’s give this a try! Whether you are in your car, at work, or at home. Just stop!
Put the phone down or the computer, and engulf your surroundings.
Listen to what’s being said. Feel what’s around you. Try your best to see the beauty that surrounds you.
Open your heart and mind and just allow all of the worries and stressors in your life dissipate for just this moment.
Now, how did that feel to have that moment of peace and clarity? It felt great right! What do you think will happen if you lived in the moment more often?
I bet you will feel more relaxed. There will be less pressure and you wouldn’t be as stressed as you are now.
Expect Nothing in Return
For some reason, we hold others to high standards which ultimately means they will disappoint us once, twice or all the time.
This makes it hard for us to trust people and we always end up disappointed. We expect them to do the exact same thing that we would if we were in their situation.
What we have to learn is that they are not us. They do not have the same core values and morals that we have and they were raised differently.
When we learn to give just to give and not to expect something back, we will be so much happy with the fact that we were able to help someone.
We will not worry about when they will be able to reciprocate the favor.
Make Plans for the Future
Living in the moment is quite important but so is making plans for the future.
As adults, we don’t allow ourselves to imagine. We get so caught up in our jobs, families, and stress, that we don’t sit down and take a breather.
We don’t open our minds to the possibility of what could be. Which in turn could free some of our stress and motivate us to do more with our side hustle, to do more with paying down debt, or to just feel free for a few moments?
Imagining and envisioning helps to create mobility so that we can make our impossible, possible.
Set Goals Progress
Everyone feels amazing when they accomplish a goal they set! Which is why progress and setting goals is a key to happiness.
Challenging yourself and then making progress on your goals makes you happier emotionally and satisfied with your life. (Source)
The positive feelings that happen when you are making progress, in turn, continue to motivate you more to reach your goals and fulfill them.
Be Someone Who Makes You Happy
The ultimate goal is to find what makes you happy and who you truly are no matter what other people say or project on you.
The goal is to love every inch of your mind, face, and body that you are in. It is to love your thoughts, your progress, and to be happy with who you are each and every day. This way you won’t look to others to make you happy.
Looking to others for happiness will, in turn, end up hurting you because everyone makes mistakes.
If you look to yourself to make you happy you will have a lot fewer worries, stress, and let downs when it comes to others.
You will have gained more confidence, self-assurance, and know exactly what you want, need, and can attain in life.
Meet People Where They Are
Not everyone in life grows at the rate that you grow.
Some people stop growing while others continue to push themselves to excel.
When you object your feelings on to someone else who is ultimately happy with where they are in life, you, in turn, become bitter, dispassionate, and have ill feelings towards them.
For example, if you come from a small town and your friend wants to just get married and buy a house there while you want to travel the world and make a name for yourself, don’t think your friend is stupid.
Your dreams are different than his or hers.
What makes you happy may not make her or him happy. Guess what? That’s okay!
You have to realize that you are in two different places in life and accept that person for where they are even if your visions are totally different from theirs.
Here are some quotes about happiness that can help remind you when you are on your journey to your own attainment of happiness.
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Happiness Quotes About Life
- “It isn’t what you have, or who you are, or where you are, or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy. It is what you think about.” –Dale Carnegie
- “There is only one way to happiness and that is to cease worrying about things which are beyond the power of our will.” –Epictetus
- “We tend to forget that happiness doesn’t come as a result of getting something we don’t have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have.” –Frederick Keonig
- “Happiness is not something ready-made. It comes from your own actions.” –Dalai Lama
- “There is only one cause of unhappiness: the false beliefs you have in your head, beliefs so widespread, so commonly held, that it never occurs to you to question them.” –Anthony de Mello
FAQ About Finding Happiness
Which is more important money or happiness?
- Yes, money is important because it does help to provide freedom. Freedom to travel, pay bills, live in a nice house, help our families and friends, live life more abundantly and with fewer worries. Yes, all of those things sound amazing and honestly I wish I could have some of those things for myself. The problem is that the mass media has made us believe that money is more important than happiness. More specifically that having a lot of material things equate to happiness which is not true at all. It all boils down to what you do with that money you have that will equate to you finding happiness. For example, if you use your money frivolously and indulge in things that only make you happy for a fleeting moment, then you won’t be happy with more money. If you use your money to help you indulge in things you enjoy most like having a maid or chef so you can spend more time with your family then money can help with your happiness. But, research has found that most people who are the happiest when it comes to earning more money are those living below the poverty line while those who live above it do not find more happiness when they earn more. (Source)
What is the key to happiness?
- The key to happiness is not having a negative mental story and being present. When we don’t have a negative mental story, our minds don’t experience suffering no matter what situation we are in. Suffering is basically the negative thoughts and stories that our minds associate with what we are experiencing. Without those thoughts and stories, we won’t feel suffering. Being present along with not having a negative mental story allows us to always find beauty in something. Whether it be a flower, a tree, the baby next to you, or the thought that you are still breathing. Being present allows us to find positivity. Negating negative thoughts and being present are the keys to happiness. (Source)
Is being content in a relationship good?
- Being content in a relationship means that you are comfortable. Comfortable means that you are not growing. Growing is a huge part of progress which is a major key in finding happiness.
What is happiness according to Aristotle?
- Happiness according to Aristotle is that “Happiness depends on ourselves”. Aristotle believes that happiness is the central purpose of human life and a goal in itself which is mostly achieved by each own self.
What is happiness in life?
- Happiness in life is the most cherished thing that everyone wants. Whether your rich, poor, disabled, fully abled, etc., everyone wants to be happy. Happiness is the goal that makes other life goals. Happiness is a state of mind. If you have peace in your mind then you can be happy no matter what. If you have everything in your life and no peace in your mind, you will never be happy.
By practicing these 10 Bad Habits to Break if you Want to Be Happy, you will begin to see things differently and feel differently.
You will notice that you wake up ready to accomplish more and progress.
You will believe in yourself more and set higher expectations for yourself.
You will wake up feeling lighter and less drained.
Your moods will change. Your outlook will change. You overall will change.
Want to know why? Because you are happy!
You will project positivity all around you and feel like you are floating.
You will see how things you once prayed coming into fruition.
You will notice how things that used to affect you and bring you down will no longer phase you.
These 10 steps will help you to be happy.
With Prayers, Love, and Happiness,